Romance for Men, (Humour)
Romance essentials for MEN!
Basically women in relationships say they would be happier with more romance.
For some of us guys, this is a warning sign and we start to feel threatened and start doing silly stuff like buying flowers, gifts, etc. Unfortunately many times women see right through our pathetic efforts and just get more angry and distant.
As a guide, researchers tell us that there are really only a few categories of behavior that signal women that men are behaving "romantically".
1. Letting her know that you DO think of her when you are not together.
as an example, you might let her know that while you were flirting with that new cute girl in the office, you remembered that she prolly wouldn't like that. Not that you stopped, but you DID remember her!
2. Showing appreciation.
example, instead of inviting all your buddies over for beer and pizza on game night, go with them to a sports bar and call her to let her know that she won't have to clean up after you and your slob buddies tonite. If she has gone to any trouble preparing for the night, like ordering pizza, stocking beer, snacks, finding a babysitter etc. Tell her "Thank You" as sincerely as you can. Let her know you appreciate her effort!
3. Women like physical affection that does not mean that you want sex.
example, slap her ass as she's cleaning up after the baby on the floor!
4. She probably would enjoy knowing that you find her attractive.
example, pick out a card, a simple one, with maybe a pretty flower. When you give it to her, tell her that when you saw this it reminded you of Angelina Jolie, in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, when she was in muck boots and a white dress shirt. (or similar) Let her know that you could not send it to Ms. Jolie, so because your lady is still almost kinda hot, you are giving it to her.
5. Women like a sense of adventure.
example, take her to a porn shop, and while browsing the DVD section, feel her up, and then offer to give it to her right there.
6. Ladies enjoy knowing that you want them with you.
example, offer to take her on a Sunday drive. You can take her to inspect that new construction project, etc.
7. They love surprises!
example, bring home that cute new gal from the office for a threesome!
8. Many women complain that they would like more foreplay before sex.
example, get one of them radio remote control vibrators, you can finish the game, and as a treat give her a good jolt on every first down!
9. Most women enjoy a feeling of security.
example, get some under the bed restraints, she will feel secure while you finish watching the game.
10. A few women are just impossible to please during certain times of their cycle.
example, when you see one of these times coming on, have prepared in advance an artistic rendition of you, with your hair and clothing on fire, with arrows piercing your eyes and several knives and spears stabbing you in various parts of your body while you writhe in agony.
Good luck!!
Basically women in relationships say they would be happier with more romance.
For some of us guys, this is a warning sign and we start to feel threatened and start doing silly stuff like buying flowers, gifts, etc. Unfortunately many times women see right through our pathetic efforts and just get more angry and distant.
As a guide, researchers tell us that there are really only a few categories of behavior that signal women that men are behaving "romantically".
1. Letting her know that you DO think of her when you are not together.
as an example, you might let her know that while you were flirting with that new cute girl in the office, you remembered that she prolly wouldn't like that. Not that you stopped, but you DID remember her!
2. Showing appreciation.
example, instead of inviting all your buddies over for beer and pizza on game night, go with them to a sports bar and call her to let her know that she won't have to clean up after you and your slob buddies tonite. If she has gone to any trouble preparing for the night, like ordering pizza, stocking beer, snacks, finding a babysitter etc. Tell her "Thank You" as sincerely as you can. Let her know you appreciate her effort!
3. Women like physical affection that does not mean that you want sex.
example, slap her ass as she's cleaning up after the baby on the floor!
4. She probably would enjoy knowing that you find her attractive.
example, pick out a card, a simple one, with maybe a pretty flower. When you give it to her, tell her that when you saw this it reminded you of Angelina Jolie, in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, when she was in muck boots and a white dress shirt. (or similar) Let her know that you could not send it to Ms. Jolie, so because your lady is still almost kinda hot, you are giving it to her.
5. Women like a sense of adventure.
example, take her to a porn shop, and while browsing the DVD section, feel her up, and then offer to give it to her right there.
6. Ladies enjoy knowing that you want them with you.
example, offer to take her on a Sunday drive. You can take her to inspect that new construction project, etc.
7. They love surprises!
example, bring home that cute new gal from the office for a threesome!
8. Many women complain that they would like more foreplay before sex.
example, get one of them radio remote control vibrators, you can finish the game, and as a treat give her a good jolt on every first down!
9. Most women enjoy a feeling of security.
example, get some under the bed restraints, she will feel secure while you finish watching the game.
10. A few women are just impossible to please during certain times of their cycle.
example, when you see one of these times coming on, have prepared in advance an artistic rendition of you, with your hair and clothing on fire, with arrows piercing your eyes and several knives and spears stabbing you in various parts of your body while you writhe in agony.
Good luck!!
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