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Pronounced 'Four Five' :: Battleground :: Open Forum
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| 45 |
Posted on 07/15/2009 15:56:22
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Member Posts: 4 Joined: 04.06.09 |
With raised eyebrows, we heard her yelling at him, "I don't care if it's gold. You are NOT putting that in me!!" Robots should not speak like that to humans, so he dismantled her. Sad. On a lighter note, we won WWII. Dihydrogen Monoxide can be safely ingested in reasonable quantities. I can't believe it rained, now my lawn will prolly grow again, rattz. Groovin Can't you see she wants you. She has you deep in her eyes. You been wonderin why she haunts you. Beauty in the devils disguise. She can tell you all about it. She sees it in the stars. She'll burn ya if ya try to put her down. Oh well, it's been a good day in hell. ......... Devils on the phone, he laughs and says "You're doin just fine!" She looked up in shock, "I thought I killed you!" "Yeah, but I came back to get my jacket. It's my favorite. Do you mind if I get it, please?" The aphids had no clue that they were to be invited for dinner, but the ladybug enjoyed her meal. Spiders have 8 legs. Insects have 6, and slugs don't have any legs at all. Do NOT use yer lawnmower to trim your girlfriends bush!! A weedwhacker is NOT a male enhancement product!! Don't do it. The bird sang a pretty tune, but was annoyed by the chain round her neck. A hundred dollar bill will not get ya laid most places, but ya might get dinner and a handjob. A nanosecond is about 18 inches. "Something about the package bothered me, I did not like the way it was ticking, so I sent it back to Timex." Her eyes flashed wildly red in the dancing firelight, her breasts glowed with heat and sweat. Rivulets of moisture tickled the flesh of her abdomen and thighs as she panted, the drums continued to beat out the obscene rhythm. She chose to dance. She would dance until the dawn sunlight revealed her creamy skin. Timex sent the package back, with a note, explaining that they were returning my watch, repaired. "Ahhh" I thought as I opened the package. Then the note exploded. "Comanche was a brave horse!" So sayeth Johnny Horton. I believe him! Yogurt is nasty. I won't eat it. I don't eat tofu either. Yuck. If ya don't like the way I taste, then feed me more pineapple, ya dumb bitch! I wonder if that works on wimmin too. "Windows for Dummies!" hehe, yep. I think we should give blind people digital cameras. I doubt that they would take many good pictures, but at least they would stop tripping us normal people with them stupid white sticks. Oh, and if we set up deaf gals with amplified electric nipple clamps, they could at least know when we were yelling at them to get a beer outta the fridge. "After two weeks in the wilderness, she lost all her excess weight, but she was still ugly. Sad." He held her hand, he kissed her cheek, he bought her flowers and chocolate, then she went home and fucked her neighbor the mechanic. The "war on drugs" is in fact a civil war. The US government has declared war on it's own citizens. And the citizens agreed! Weird. Of course I am trying to get my IP into your inbox! Enjoy what ya can Endure what ya have to Hope the rest don't kill ya! |
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| forfyv |
Posted on 08/13/2009 09:42:39
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 Super Administrator Posts: 19 Joined: 29.05.09 |
50 Questions you have never been asked. 1. What is the color of your toothbrush? ~I have several, and many of those are not accessible at the moment, as they are packed away or being used in tasks that have nothing to do with teeth. I'm not sure whether to count those or not. Then there are the numerous toothbrushes that I no longer possess, even though technically they are still mine, as I doubt there is any gang of toothbrush thieves harvesting used toothbrushes. Then again, I have noticed that at times I seem to be missing one or two over the years, having no idea what happened to them, perhaps there is some broad pervasive network of toothbrush thieves. If that is the case, then they likely would know the color of my toothbrush, perhaps we should ask THEM, eh? 2. Name one person who made you smile today. ~NOOOOOO 3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? ~Driving in / around Missoula 4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? ~cooking a goose egg. 5. What is your favorite candy bar? ~They don't make them any more. "Peanut Butter Snickers"! The old kind not the new kind. I bought the old kind by the box, then them assholes decided to IMPROVE them by adding caramel, and takin out the butter flavor. Buncha fuckin hogwash. I get soo angry, I could just spit. Oh well, I could not eat them now anyways, neither the new or old, because of my teeth. Yeah, my teeth, and that is because of the evil brotherhood of toothbrush thieves that stole my brightly colored teethbrushes so my gums hurt and I take pain pills and antibiotics so I don't starve. Maybe that is why I appear to be albino Ethiopian. Wow, I have someone to BLAME for all my problems, very cool! 6. Have you ever been to a strip club? ~yeah, not much fun, if all ya can do is watch, I perfer fire parties where the gals dance naked just so they can get the drunk men to fight and bleed to see who gets to fuck them. Nice times. 7. What is the last thing you said aloud? ~I don't say much out loud, but it was very likely some sort of farewell. 8. What is your favorite ice cream? ~I have a favorite, but I'm reasonably certain that the secret order of dentifrice liberators decided to take that as well. 9. What was the last thing you had to drink? ~wine 10. Do you like your wallet? ~NO!!! Inside that slim nylon package of pouches lies a card that proclaims me as a member of a secret society that is dedicated to removing bristles of tartar and plaque removal from the gentle arms of the grasping masses of mouths rotting in gingivitis and bad breath. 11. What was the last thing you ate? ~pancakes 12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? ~no, however I did do laundry in my bathtub earlier this week, or perhaps it was later last week. Now I'm confused as to the clothing and laundry timeline. Perhaps we should revisit this at an earlier time, when my age is not such an issue. 13. The last sporting event you watched? ~In my mind? 14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? ~pocorn flavor?? Am I missing something? I thought popcorn came in ONE flavor, and interestingly enough, that would resemble POPCORN, jeez. 15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? ~Grrrr 16. Ever go camping? ~no, not like YOU mean, with the 240 foot camper towed behind an 18 wheeler, with champagne and chandeliers. 12 serving staff including the chef and a seperate rig hauling the toys and the maintenance crew, with another rig hauling the livestock and the handlers. Then the lawyers and accountants who generally do NOT like each other, but they have to ride together because EVERYBODY else detests them. That kind of camping seems a little rough for my sort, I prefer to go in style and with comfort. 17. Do you take vitamins daily? ~everytime I breathe, I ingest lil critters, and each of those lil bugs comes with a full compliment of minerals, proteins, starches and vitamins, along with essential enzymes and of course the ever needful fiber. Incidentally those crawly protozoan types also harbor various bacteria and viruses that host their own little fun factories. Regiments of incredible variety and strength of numbers with a plethora of talents and abilities are whisked into my body with each breath, and my exhalations produce a similar number of differing kinds of crawlies. I just think it is interesting how each of us as individuals seem to produce very similar, but NOT identical hordes of crawly icky microscopic critters. I do like kissing, don't you? 18. Do you go to church every Sunday? ~umm, the universe is my church, or rather my adversary, well actually both. so yes, and no. 19. Do you have a tan? ~on a small patch underneath my left nut, I use one of the stolen dental mirrors as a sun reflector every day that I am not shaving. 20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? ~actually I don't think I have tried that, I can certainly see some chinese dishes going over pizza, but something like won ton soup? I dunno, Seems that even pan pizza crust with thick cheese sauce would get soggy with a thin soup on it, in fact I'm not sure it would taste very good, even if you could get the crust to stay unsoggy. Is that even a word, "unsoggy"??? Perhaps in chinese, or even italian it may be a word, but not likely with the meaning I intended, but as everyone here is american, or should be, then I'm quite certain that even if there is NO word as "unsoggy" technically, the meaning would be quite clear to you, or yours or not. 21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? ~I don't have soda. 22. What did your last text message say? ~Unfortunately that message was destroyed and encoded, according to the code of eternal swishers of mouthful reivers code of combative conduct, sorry. 23. What are you doing tomorrow? ~I may be still writing out artful and interesting answers to this survey of 49 questions. 25. Look to your left, what do you see? ~there goes my dress? 26. What color is your watch? ~multi color. khaki, camel, olive and black and cream with some metallic and gold accents 27. What do you think of when you hear Australia? ~If I ever hear Australia, I will try to remember to get back to this question. It is likely that at some time in the distant future I will write something similar to: "27 ~ That silly wallaby is smokin on the barbie!" and that will just come outta the blue, and u people will once again wonder what the hell I have been smoking, and asking me to share, and I'll just smile knowingly and u will be afraid and I will be also, at my wit candor and intellectual prowess. 29.Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? ~I have actually done both, and some places have gotten smart and placed barriers in the drive up lane so that vehicles that would normally hit the window merely glance off the barrier, like some kind of weird soccer ball tournament. 30. What is your favorite number? ~the square root of negative one, an imaginary number, I like imaginary numbers, they are soooo unreal. 31, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone? ~I don't talk on the phone, with persons, there is hardly enough room for me on the phone. 32. Any plans Saturday? ~yes actually, I have finally finished a karellian phased fusion inverter. 33. How many states have you lived in? ~Umm, there was confusion, infusion and suffusion, yep, I think that was it, so 4! 34. Biggest annoyance right now? ~the speed limit, I just don't see why 186,000 mph should be fast enough. 35. Last song listened to? ~INXS, disappear 36. can you say the alphabet backwards? ~yes, but only as a mirror image. 37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? ~YES! Esmerelda, although I have tried complaining to the service, it's been OVER 8 years since she actually accomplished anything here. sad. 38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? ~no, if I wore them all the time, my feet would rot off. 39. Are you jealous of anyone? ~yes, that man with the "easy bake wife, and his easy bake life" 40. Is anyone jealous of you? ~prolly that boring sod with the toy wife and life. 41. Do you love anyone? ~no, not really, well yeah, ok, maybe not. 42. Do any of your friends have children? ~ok, so I do love some people. 43. What do you usually do during the day? ~steal tooth brushes, sometimes I put a quarter under the pillow, sometimes I leave a toilet brush and for really special days I leave a bloody horse head, with clean teeth. 44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? ~someone stole my toothbrush! 45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? ~no, actually. when u are alone, there is generally no need for saying "hello" in fact after a certain amount of time alone it becomes more and more difficult to say anything at all, unless there is a specific need for speaking such as, "Watch out that fairy is stealing your toothbrush!!" I have mentioned to some people that in many cases I have actually spent more time alone than they have been alive, and I'm not saying that I spent time without a lover/companion, I mean I was ALONE, with NO ONE to talk to, or interact with at all. so No, not daily, sometimes not for weeks. 46. What color is your car? ~ I think it is the same color of one of my lost toothbrushes, perhaps the brotherhood of thieving dental assistant fairies could answer that. 48. Are you thinking about someone right now? ~nope, (I lie to myself and apparently on this survey as well) 49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? ~dunno, maybe, maybe not. 50. How did you get your worst scar? ~from the death of a child. 51 Did u notice that there is no question #28 and #47??? ~ Yep, so I made up this question #51, which is why I changed this from 50 questions to 49 questions, I could have left it at 48, but then I would have had to delete another question to make up for this one. :-) |
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